It’s enough to know the next step

“Publish Blog Post” says Google Calendar. How can I publish what I haven’t written? I’m pretty sure I deleted the last reminder though and I don’t want to skip over this one, so as I brush poptart crumbs from my keyboard, here’s your latest installment of “How long will it take for Ellie to realize the obvious?”

I take very careful mental notes of everything new, whether new people, new ideas, or new experiences. Depending on how much coffee I had that day, I can usually recall with decent clarity the day I first met someone, thought of something, or tried something. I like to live in that moment and think, “One day this will be a memory.” I’ll store up that feeling and later recall just how it felt, just what I thought, and what came out of it.

It’s a good hobby! I think it comes so naturally to me because I always expect something wonderful to come out of everything. Being on the young side, I realize that small things that happen now could lead to huge changes for the rest of my life. People I meet, places I go, they could one day mean the world to me.

But I’ve found myself lately trying to figure out exactly who that is and where that is. I want to know! I want to know exactly where God is leading me, and I want to pay special attention so one day I can think, “I remember how it all started, and how it felt.” Several times, many times, I’ve thought, “This. This is where God is leading me,” but just as often those doors have been closed, those ideas have failed, or sometimes I just decided it wasn’t for me after all.

So you can imagine the tears, the disappointment, the discouragement, when I am called just to wait and pray. I’ve been tempted to think and feel that there must not be a plan for my life at all. I think I’ve forgotten that waiting and praying isn’t a bad thing, in fact, it can be very, very good.

It also came as an epiphany (although it should have been obvious) that I don’t need see the entire plan before I take the first step. I have so many wonderful adults in my life! As I think of all the conversations I’ve had and all the advice and prayer I’ve received just in the past few weeks, I’m so overwhelmed with gratitude! Maybe I should write a blog post about seeking advice from godly adults. But for now let me paraphrase one of the many helpful people I talked to, “If you believe you want to go to college, than I’d say go ahead and start. You might get a couple semesters in and realize it’s not what you should be doing, or you might get a degree under your belt and decide to go farther. Be in such a relationship with God and be so receptive to the Holy Spirit that you know, not the whole plan, but the next step to take.”

We were talking about college, but the principle applies to the rest of my life too. I can just forget about trying to lay out the whole map of my life. If I can just be so in tune with God that I know the next step, even if the next step is waiting, His plans will come to pass. And I know His plans are wonderful!

With love,
Ellie

Darwin’s Dilemma

I held my cat for a long time tonight. I had felt a surge of panic as I thought of the day’s conversations and everything I had done wrong, and before I knew it, the cat I was in the middle of putting outside was clasped tight under my chin. I’m amazed at the gentleness in her. Most of the time she doesn’t like being held like that, probably because her old joints need specific support to be comfortable, but I must have gotten it right, because she didn’t struggle once but purred and rested against me. I hugged all the anxiety away. I know I’ve said it before, but my cat seems to know when I am sick or hurting, and I’m always amazed. Animals are amazing.

Our family also watched a documentary tonight called “Metamorphosis.” After a (rather long) exploration of the journey from caterpillar to butterfly, and then a look at the Monarch Butterfly migration, the biologists finally made the point they were coming to, two points actually.

The first has to do with metamorphosis itself. In metamorphosis, a caterpillar, inside the chrysalis, does something similar to decomposing. Its cells break down, they die, they turn into a pile of mush. Some of those cells disappear, and others are used to the reorganization of a completely different body. Wings, legs, proboscis, compound eyes, antennae, digestive tract, heart, and reproductive organs–they are all completely new and altogether different from the caterpillar. This metamorphosis poses a problem to the common-held theory of evolution which states that creatures evolved by natural selection and slowly grew in complexity over time. Because metamorphosis doesn’t work like that. First off, a creature wouldn’t (figuratively) kill itself unless there was a planned outcome. It cannot just randomly develop this habit of committing suicide inside a chrysalis and killing off most body cells without a system already put in place to rebuild itself. Secondly, it cannot slowly develop this process. So many things, tiny and huge, have to happen all at once for this to work. If the wings and eyes worked, but not the organs, the butterfly would die. If the legs and proboscis worked, but not the connecting muscles, the butterfly would die. If everything, by some happy, random chance, was put together perfectly except for one thing, the butterfly could not survive. For all of these amazing developments to happen at once is quite improbable, maybe impossible. The more logical conclusion is that it was designed.

The second point the biologists came to was that because of the art and beauty in the world that we observe, we can perceive that there must be intelligence behind it. There are approximately 20,000 species of butterflies in the world, and every single species has a different wing shape and pattern. In some cases, patterns help the butterflies to survive, but in many they are simply there. Natural selection has no reason for beauty, and no explanation for how it came about.

Look at a sunset. Look at the stars. Look at a cat. Look at a tiny butterfly. It is art. It is simply the logical response to assume that something intelligent is behind it all, and it is simply the right response to give our praise to that something.

 

In awe,
Ellie

Updates on Life, February Edition

God is very good.

To someone who succumbs to laziness daily, loses patience more than daily, neglects priorities, and can’t seem to mature He is amazingly gracious.

Sometimes I feel like Lot who wouldn’t leave behind the city (that was about to be destroyed anyway) until the angels grabbed his stubborn hands and dragged him out. Even when I’m reluctant to leave the old behind, God still drags me into the new, and the new is good!

Even though I feel like I don’t mature, I do feel this attachment to the world is constantly fading. Its opinions and ideals mean less and less. “Living life to the fullest” has certainly lost its charm. More and more I just want the joy and peace I get in God and I want the fellowship I get from the church.

And that’s just about it.

So, looking over the month of February, I’ve learned

  • Improv piano is more enjoyable than written piano
  • Walking onto a stage to stand up for half an hour while sick is not ideal
  • The book of Revelations is mainly dealing with the destruction of Jerusalem
  • The Destruction of Jerusalem is much more significant that I ever realized
  • Daniel Webster was a jerk to invent a dictionary
  • Life without math is wonderful
  • Poetry is a good writing practice, both reading and writing it
  • Glow worms are disgusting

Another new, sort of new, accurance—well, I’m umpiring again.

I hated it so much last year! Before every single game I told myself I would never umpire again. And now for my second year I’ll be expected to improve—what was I thinking?!

I HAVE NO CLUE! So don’t ask.

But it’s too late to back out now.

I do have some plans of strategy to make this a more successful year:

  1. Study my rules and know them front and back. The only way I can be confident in my calls is by being dead sure of them
  2. Do my best to stick to softball, which means talking with the Chief Umpire
  3. Practice communicating with my other umpire, even if it’s just waving “hi” after every pitch

I have a bit of time right now to come up with a poem for the test, as I did last year.

I’m not feeling the inspiration though. I can’t get anything written. So we’ll see how that goes.

I want to thank one specific person. My darling friend Alexis constantly pulls the plug on my pride and also my gloom.

She has a beautiful and simple heart to love God and love others. She insured that “Singles Awareness Day” was anything but melancholy and has inspired me to love over and over. Our ideals, interests, and theology differs, but her smile is impossible to smother.

And now to go rolling into March–

I remain,
Yours Truly,

Ellie

Beginning Writer and some team work

First, by way of introduction….

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This is Jimmy!!!!

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Alright, so now that you know Jimmy, I can tell you he’s a new writer! He is writing me a lovely story about a “dee” (bee). Today he was super excited to do it–give me a story to edit and revise for him.

He is smart you know! Today he told us, “Lighting bugs must eat the sun.” When I told him it was too cute he said, “I mean, they sit out in the sun so they can glow at night. That’s like their food.” That’s why he should be a writer. I told him so and that is where this started, but obviously he’s had this idea of the bee in his head for quite awhile, since he learned about them in school.

So here’s his story.

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Translation: “Once there was a bee, but he didn’t have wings or a pattern. He was a little worm shape. One day he woke up. He was shaped like a bee, but he did not have a pattern like a bee, so he ate furious but they….”(I’ve only received one page. He’s still working on the second.
After he proudly gave me his work–I revised it. Here’s the second draft:
“Once upon a time there was a bee, well, he was not really a bee, not to himself. To himself he saw only a little worm shape, and honestly, he really was just a little worm. No wings, no stripes.
He waited quite awhile, depressed because he never thought he would be a bee. Not now, not ever. But the day came when he found that his head was shaped very finely, and his body as well. But he was not a bee, and he knew it, because he had no stripes, no pattern.
He went on with his life, admiring his head and eyes, but not doing much else–except eat honey of course; the real bees above poured it down on his head constantly….”
Watch out Washington! Look out Times Square! Here we come to rock the nation!
Happy Writing!
Electric Bubbles

Unexpectancy

It is a hard and strange feeling to try and convince yourself that the person you saw just a few days ago is actually dead.

Jason Moslander and his wife with two small children have been raising support to train and go to the mission field as long term missionaries. Just a few weeks ago they told us excitedly about their plans and the logistics. Elliot was climbing all over his daddy, pulling Jason’s face and shirt as violently as a baby can and Jason tried to keep Elliots fast tongue from moving. Grace laughed at them both. Stephanie added information while holding Grace on her lap. When they showed us a video of their work and samples of the language, I felt myself excited in a way I can’t really explain. Being trained for the Psalm 67 Missions Network, I grew more excited to think about helping this family raise their support and then to keep in contact with them. I saw the Lord working in them and was enthralled. But in a sentence or two I am told this man is dead. Dead very suddenly. So that wasn’t His plans, to send this family as missionaries? The world feels like it is reeling as I try to comprehend all of this–what Stephanie is now going through, what Grace and Elliot will never have, and what plans I thought were from God have fallen apart.

This can hardly be a comforting post so far, especially as I think about the shortness of life, how fleeting and uncertain. I would have thought that if God would keep any man alive on this earth, surely it would have been Jason who had such a heart to preach His word in one of the most dangerous places. Honestly, I don’t even know what killed Jason yet. It just goes to show the uncertainty and unexpectancy of life. But we do have a comfort, even when words cannot express our sorrow. Our hope is built on nothing less than Jesus Christ.

If we did not have Christ, where would we go? If we did not have the promises of God, what would we cling to? But we can pray for our sister and be encouraged in the word. God’s plans are established before the foundation of the world. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and His ways higher than our ways. He who began a good work in us will bring it on to completion. His grace is sufficient and His mercies are new every morning.

Great is Thy faithfulness

With tears,

Electric Bubbles

Awarded!

^_^ I was awarded by Cayla and Ashley the Liebster award.
The German word ‘liebster’ means dearest. This award is given to bloggers with under 200 followers.Once you have been nominated for the Liebster Award, you have to share 11 random facts about yourself and answer the 11 questions the individual who nominated you asked you. Then nominate 11 other bloggers with under 200 followers and give them 11 questions to answer.

The 11 Questions From Cayla and Ashley:

Why did you start blogging?

It was a way to share some writing, get some feedback, and process and share life.

What is your dream vacation?

O.O! Go to Scottland with my family and some friends!

What is the most daring thing that you’ve done?

Um, I’m….not sure….some times when I dare things, it turns embarrassing.

What’s your favorite day of the week?

Sunday! I love meeting with my church family and dwelling on God’s goodness.

Where do you find inspiration for your blog?

In things I read, watch, and do.

What’s your biggest accomplishment?

Um….finishing four rough drafts? Honestly, I don’t know of any huge accomplishments.

What color do you love to wear?

Blue!

What’s your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Read, write letters, email friends, and blog

What song describes you?

That’s a cool question, I just have to find a song….I choose Concerning Hobbits

What season do you love best?

Early fall

Beach or pool?

Ah! I love beaches, but then….I love pools too….I would choose a beach though.

11 Random Facts:

Alright, I’ll try, but they’ll be really random….

  1.  Aquamarine is not my favorite color
  2. The strings on my violin are very cheep and sound bad
  3. I always have a tin whistle in my bag–
  4. –that I have named Thompson. She is not my purse, she is my author’s bag that doubles as a purse
  5. I have a Calvin and Hobbes book next to me, 479 pages long, probably a 12 x 14 book….and I can’t find a single comic in it that I haven’t already read….
  6. The problem with Solitaire is that there is no freecell bank
  7. I love leather
  8. Last night I watched 12 Angry Men (may be a post about that sometime, I love that movie)
  9. I am addicted to music
  10. I have never had a TV
  11. I can’t decide if I like the gawking reaction to that or the excited, “Me too!” more….

11 Nominations:
Well, I can try to find 11, but some Cayla and Ashley already chose

Okay!

optimisticworldview.blogspot.com

stopandsmelltheroseshere.blogspot.com

drolldigression.blogspot.com

awritingmaiden.blogspot.com

seeingonlyjesus.blogspot.com

thegiftofcreation.wordpress.com

theorganicpoptart.blogspot.com

….I guess we’ll leave it at that.

My own questions for all you bloggers:

I want to ask a few that Cayla and Ashley asked

  1. Why did you start your blog?
  2. Why did you name it what it is?
  3. Where do you find inspiration for your blog?
  4. Is your blog for you, or for your readers?
  5. What was your favorite birthday gift?
  6. What song always makes you cry?
  7. What movie puts you to sleep?
  8. What is something you’ve wanted to show someone but didn’t dare?
  9. Which personality type do you find more approachable, quiet or talkative?
  10. May it Be or Into the West?
  11. Which smiley do you use most? (^_^)

So, Tag! You’re it!

Electric Bubbles

CHEF conference–just a truck load of pictures

This past weekend, May 8th through May 11th, I was at the Christian Home Educators Fellowship conference, and I cannot say enough good things about it.

I was guided in reevaluating my life and how productive I am being in my family. (Answer: not very productive–yet!) The talks, lectures, sermons, messages, workshops, it was all amazing! And not only that, I got to reunite with long unseen friends and meet several new ones, many of whom I have heard much about but never met before.

My dear friend Meghan took a lot of pictures of the short times I got to spend with my friends throughout the four days.

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These are the two friends I was most excited about seeing, Leah and Meghan. Leah I had not seen in almost two years and it was the first time Leah, Meghan, and myself were all together.

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And you will probably see a lot of pictures of Leah. 😀IMG_9920

Jessica, Milly, Bekah, Leah, and myself. Don’t ask me why I look so much taller….

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And that’s us goofing off. Leah is so funny!

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See! I told you!IMG_9915

“Do you like my naturally curly hair?”

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Claire, Meghan, and Catherine
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I’ve seen Mathew in way more pictures than in real life, but his pictures always crack me up.

IMG_9961Same with this guy, he cracks me up too. I’m gonna pretend like I don’t know his name. 😉

On the second day of the conference we all wore black and white and we played around the big ol’ fountain.

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And we stuck flowers in each other’s hairIMG_0022IMG_9995

Gennie and Ruff just watched us

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It seemed like a good idea to run around the fountain
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And to run after Milly

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Baby girl also ran around the fountain! She was my pleasant and ever-welcome shadow and she was infatuated with the escalators. We are homeschooled, after all….XD

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On the last day I felt a tremendous urge to get wet, more than dipping my feet in the water like I had a few times. I decided poor little Thea on a wheelchair must be thinking the same thing and I flicked a bit of water on her. And hour later our little showers were still going back and forth. In an attempt to end it all I sent a small tsunami (no, not really) at Thea. (Leah and Michael got wet too, but I did tell them to lean forward.) Thea’s ankle was broken, so she couldn’t follow me, (mwahaha) but when I was running around the fountain again and great gusty hurricane got me for her. The wind blew, the water flew and totally soaked my left side. My legs were numb because it was so cold and I had to sit through the next session all wet–but it curbed my desire to play in the fountain and I’d hug the mad fountain if I could. IMG_0026

Beautiful Leah….IMG_0012

Simply beautiful!

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Just like her sister.IMG_0015

And this is how I look when I’ve been sitting down too long and finally get to run around.

Crazy as I was, I think you could safely say Billy was a bit more so. I must admit I was pressing him to do it, but he rode his unicycle around the lip of the fountain and didn’t fall in. We did get the hotel security on us, but not before the video was taken with evidence that he did it!

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Again, don’t ask why I look so much taller than everyone….but you can guess.

For those worried about Alexa! She’s right there in the middle and perfectly safe….and she didn’t go to Canada….*blinks and shakes head* So confusing….IMG_0173
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“I love you!”
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I’ve heard bunches about this family! I finally got to meet them and their bro….

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Michael who has his own blog, young-christian-artist.blogspot.com

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Speaking of blogs, Leah’s is at optimisticworldview.blogspot.com.

I think Meghan liked taking portraits around the fountain.
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Claire

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Catherine
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Matching redheads! Meghan and Lizzy

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And Wy-*ahem* Leah’s brother.

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She’s probably saying, “Seriously?” To quote Jeremy, “It’s so much fun to tease Leah.”

IMG_0305“Yay! Let’s go tease Leah!”

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Makes me wonder if they are laughing at Leah in this picture.
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Drink the melted whipped cream, or not drink the melted whipped cream? I gave it to Jimmy; little boys will drink anything that’s too sweet.
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When the time came to say goodbye I simply had to tell myself that I finally got to see her and would hopefully see her before another two years. Otherwise, I probably would have cried. And if you haven’t guessed by now, yes, I’m that much taller than Leah. (And it looks like I’m hugging a ball full of hair. She is under there and pretending to cry.)
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“Tootles!”

Electric Bubbles