Home » Writing » Jon book story idea – Take off!

Jon book story idea – Take off!

The beautiful beginning

So I’ve begun writing the story with no title. How exciting! And I’ll be posting on here the first rough drafts so you can see where it’s going before anyone else gets to. Aren’t you lucky people! Everything including names is subject to change and all of your advice and critique is wanted and appreciated. So here is how I started. I may take out the whole “talk to the reader” feeling there, because it’s hard to be consistent. So enjoy and leave a comment!


Electric Bubbles

(The link to the story has been removed)

4 thoughts on “Jon book story idea – Take off!

  1. Well done Ellie! I like how you didn’t hardly describe the man at all. The “Talk to the reader” bit is interesting, but when you explain everything, it sort of takes out the darkness and mystery, something that this story is built on. My only advice would be to deepen the blues and lengthen the shadows…… you know what I mean 🙂

      • I agree with Meg on this Ellie…Your talk to the reader, can be somewhat smoothed out in up coming chapters…But I like how at the first it sort of introduces you to the suroundings…And it does seem a little vauge as to what the Winged Zambergots have to do with the story…but of course it is just the first rough draft so you can’t really say anything too critical about it…Another thing…I LOVE IT…. ^_^ It is so cool, your brother really has an imagination….WOW…Keep it up girlie…YOU are so creative…You can make any story come alive…!

        LOVE YOU….! 🙂

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