Home » NaNoWriMo » Prologue of my Nano story

Prologue of my Nano story

This is the prologue of my newly finished story. I don’t know if I’ll use it in the real book because really I just wrote it to add to my word count. Leave a comment and tell me if I should use it. Be critical. 🙂
A giant man, at least eight feet tall, stood on top of a hill and scanned the fields around him with a hand over his brow. His armor shone in the sun and he had a pitch black cloak thrown over his shoulders. Without a seeing device, he could see over miles and miles of the world around him, not only because of the height of the hill he was on, but because of his sharp clear eye that missed nothing. This was the land he was setting out to attack.
The giant man turned from his gaze on the hill and marched back down to his camp. A resounding boom sounded and shook the hills around them, but not by volume but by power and strength of an evil unearthly kind. His chanting, throbbing music controlled the came and the hills around it. The guards swarming around were pounding their spears lightly on the ground in time to it. The blacksmiths working turned the sharpening wheel in time to it. The trees around them, powerless to move were wilting and dieing. The giant was pleased. Already the blight was reaching out of its bounds and withering everything it could touch. Slowly it slithered like a snake and now it was pulled back and ready to strike. Power was almost within his grasp, and he was reaching farther and farther for it. Soon it would be his.
When he reached the camp a guard glanced at him and for a split second looked him in the eye. It was fatal. The giant saw instantly the doubt in the man’s eyes, even amid the chanting and pounding and power and the giant’s own cunning being displayed through out the camp. It would never do. Suddenly a snake was coiled where the giant had stood only moments before. It pealed back black lips to reveal two teeth, sharp as daggers and with a quick strike the snake grabbed the man by the throat and wordlessly his sorry life was ended. The velvety black snake hissed and disappeared into the commotion of the camp.


-Electric Bubbles

8 thoughts on “Prologue of my Nano story

  1. I’m gonna say “Yes”, though I think it could use a little work. Maybe be more descriptive, because it’s a bit abrupt. 🙂

  2. Hmmm…Ellie, there are a few sentences that could use correcting. But overall, I like it, it is not too informative, but just enough to make you want to turn the page, and see what lies ahead.

    I think you have a very good story! So don’t give up, don’t be discouraged, just be Ellie Jackson, and you shall succeed, Lord willing, of course…. 🙂

    Love you Ellie>>>! 😉

  3. Ellie,
    WONDERFUL!!!!! I can just feel the dread, the sense of terror….. and the huge desire to read more!!!!!!!! And the last paragraph is priceless…….. but don’t stop there! As I always have to tell myself when writing…. “You CAN do BETTER!!!!!!!!!!” =D
    Go on! Use you God given talent for HIS glory girl! =)
    Have a great day!
    Love, Duck Girl

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